“For this command that I enjoin on you today is not too mysterious and remote for you. It is not up in the sky, that you should say, ‘Who will go up in the sky to get it for us and tell us of it, that we may carry it out?’ Nor is it across the sea, that you should say, ‘Who will cross the sea to get it for us and tell us of it, that we may carry it out?’ No, it is something very near to you, already in your mouths and in your hearts; you have only to carry it out.” Deuteronomy 30:10-14
Why is it day in and day out that I feel God screaming at me to tell His story? I know the term for it is “evangelize” but I consider myself a storyteller and not worthy of the term evangelist. Do others get the feeling that God is screaming at them? I don’t know, but I feel it.
I’ve heard a lot of people talk about being “called”. I never felt called to do anything. Maybe I felt called to be a wife and a mother. I’m sure I was called for that. I just always knew that was the path my life was going to take. Yes, there were a few times that I considered a religious life but it never burned inside of me the way being able to be a mother did. I was desperate for that.
Back in 2016 I was sitting in church and I felt “called” to write. I have always had an opinion about the readings, and father’s sermons, but I would never have considered writing about any of that. But I had this strong pull and after church I said something to Fr. Darrell about it. I had been writing a blog for awhile at this point but I guess I wanted his opinion, maybe his permission. He thought it was a great idea. He has always been a fan of mine. It took us awhile but we came up with the name “Logos from the Pew” and we decided that if anyone wanted to contribute to the blog they could. I should have taken God’s hint then.
Since then, there have been times that I have felt called to do the Lord’s work. That seems so strange to me to say, but it’s the feeling that I have had.
I’m in this little prayer group. One of our members feels a lot like I do. But her big deal is “how can people go to Mass and just sit there?” She says it takes everything in her to not stand up and holler “alleluia”! I have told her we need to start a cheering section in church reserved for people like us. Then everyone will see how we are and maybe they’ll join us.
But isn’t it our job as evangelists to sit among those who aren’t as moved as we are and “show them the way”? I love to sing. And I’m pretty loud in church. Several years ago someone asked me to join the choir or to canter. I thanked them for the compliment but told them I wasn’t really interested in that. I would do my singing from the middle of church, thank you. One day I was listening to someone canter and said to myself that I could do that, and should do that. I don’t have to sing nearly as loud because they have given me a microphone (big mistake) and our music director makes sure that I sound pretty good. So maybe I was using that as a spring board to this.
I’ll be honest with you. For the last few months I have begged the Lord to tell me what I should be doing in my life right now. I think He’s been telling me. I also think that I haven’t been listening. I’ve been waiting for Him to send me the next big thing. I’ve been waiting on Him to get my life on track so that I can move forward. This reading at Mass this weekend really hit me. After I read it I looked around the church filling up and wondered how many people there that morning got the same message that I did. I’ll bet that I was the only one in church that morning that needed to hear it the way that I heard it and I was the only one who was moved in that way. I’m sure others heard it the way they needed to. I, most assuredly, heard it the way I needed to.
And if that hadn’t happened, I don’t know that I would have heard a podcast the way I needed to hear it. I listen to Gary Vee quite a bit. He is this marketing guru and he pumps me up in so many ways. A friend of mine sent me one of his podcasts so I had it on while I was checking my emails at work yesterday. The piece he was doing was titled “How Much Should they Care for $12/Hour”. He was talking about taking care of your employees, etc., etc. Anyway, somewhere in there he got to talking about entrepreneurship, which he usually does, and about owning your own business, which he usually does, and he made the comment that if you’ve been in your business for 2 years and it wasn’t working maybe you should be doing something else. Guys, I’ve been in my business for 10 years. Ten. And for ten years I have scrimped and saved and borrowed from Peter to pay Paul and done all kinds of things to just make it work. I have yet to get to the point where I am comfortable in my business and in my life. And, I’m not having fun. If you know me, you know how important it is for me to have fun at work. I spend too much time there not to laugh and get excited and have fun. I sat there, listening to that podcast, and started crying.
When God sends me a message like this I like to say that He slapped me upside the head. I felt as though I had been slapped. I also felt as though I was the only one who could do anything about it.
I called my daughter, the entrepreneur, and shared all of this with her. She said to me “Mom, this isn’t anything that you don’t already know”. I know. But, what if it doesn’t work. What if no one cares what I have to say. What if I FAIL! She reminded me that I know how to get this done. She reminded me that I was really good at this. She reminded me that God wouldn’t send me something that was going to fail. She reminded me. She also told me, as I’ve heard twice since then, that I did have a story to tell AND there were people out there that needed to hear it.
So, guys, I’m going to do it. I’m going to change all of my hats for just this one. It will be easier to tell you what I’m not going to be but I need to tell you what I am going to be. I’m going to be a storyteller. I’m going to tell you the story about how faith has made my life what it is today and that it can make your life joy-filled. Because my life is joy-filled. Hopefully you will agree to be in my posse and will share the things that move you and/or make you laugh. Hopefully you will tell your friends about me. Hopefully you will let me interview you for some of my content. Even though I am scared shitless I know that God will take care of this for me. I know this because I’ve got this big old feeling in my gut that is about to explode. And it chooses to come out through my fingers and through my mouth and through my heart.
I know that God is counting on me. I know that I am counting on you.