I have had the honor of talking with a couple of women I know this week about their lives. I could tell that both of them were frustrated in their current situation and even though they knew their lives needed to change they were unsure of what path to take. Now, I’ve never considered myself to be a counselor or anything like that. I would love to be a Life Coach but all I really have to have to offer is a lot of common sense and a whole of encouragement so I’m not sure I’m qualified. You’d probably have to have a Master’s Degree in something to do that. Anyway, I enjoy talking to people about their lives and if I can offer some insight then that satisfies that instinct in me. Honestly, I think I come by it honestly. My mom offered some of the best advice all through her life. Of course, we all knew that she was just being bossy. So, I’ve inherited the bossy gene. And if someone doesn’t follow my advice I don’t have an issue with that. Maybe what I told them just planted a seed and they have to nurture that idea and watch it grow.
But, enough about me. What both of these women needed more than anything was a vivid imagination. They needed to be able to see what their life would be like if they changed. They needed to envision their life the way they wanted it. That is so important because if you can see it you can achieve it. And it works the other way too. What if you can see yourself making that move and then come to realize that’s not what you want? I say “no harm, no foul”. It’s like dress shopping. Sometimes you think that dress is going to be perfect for you and once you get it on you come to realize that it is not the best fit for you. Plus the color doesn’t do anything for you.
It’s the same with envisioning your life. What if you want to quit your job? Maybe you’re tired of putting up with your cubicle-mate. Maybe you’re sick of being dumped on by your boss. What if you don’t feel like you’re going anywhere in this company. Those are all very valid reasons for changing jobs. But, what’s it like elsewhere? My recommendation would be to look at 5 or 6 other companies out there where you would consider working. What would your life be like in those companies? In order for this to work you’ve got to envision the whole thing. Where would you park? What’s the dress code? What are the people like? What are the expectations? I could go on and on. But consider the first week, the first month, the first year of living that job. What would be better? What would be worse? I have known too many people who have taken new jobs just to be disappointed that although they weren’t having to deal with a particular co-worker, their life wasn’t much different. But go one step further. How are you in a particular situation? What is your attitude like? One thing I find is that if we change our attitude then maybe the situation changes. I have worked jobs making lots of money to change for reasons that didn’t have a thing to do with money and been so much happier. You would think that making less money would not make you happy. I tend to disagree. Unless you are only motivated by money.
The same goes true for every aspect of your life. How you see your life in any and all situations makes the difference. Are you jealous that someone got a new car and you’re just lucky if yours starts? I’ll bet if you looked at that as you don’t have a car payment and they do would have a lot to do with whether or not you are content with that old clunker. But if you look at what your ideal day in life would be you would find that you can implement some of those things in your life and work towards having that perfect life.
A while back I sat down and wrote down what I wanted. Here it is:
All I know is that I want my life to be different. So some soul searching is required here. I’ll tell you war, if I can have anything I want this is what I want:
Daily: I want to write. I want to write about everything. I want to write professional stuff. I want to write philosophical stuff. I want to write funny stuff. I want to write the stories down that are in my head. I really want to do this every day.
I want to pick my kids up from school, or at least be here when they get home. I’ve never really wanted that but I now think they need me to be there.
I want to farm. No, I don’t want to hoe tobacco. But I do want to cut hay, rake and bale it. I want to hoe my garden. I want to get out there. I want to be outside. I have lived on my farm for years and I have never been able to enjoy it. And oh yeah, I want to mess with the horses. I want to keep them clean and I want to gear them up and have them ready for when the kids get home. And I want to explore the farm with my son and my camera in the afternoon. I want to take all day to cook supper. I think that’s why I enjoy cooking on the weekend, because I can take all day.
Yeah, that’s about it. That’s what I want my daily life to be. Oh no, I want to go to Mass every day. Can you image that luxury? Oh, and on Wednesdays I want to go out and cut up with the quilters.
Annually: Every year I want to go on a trip. I want to go abroad or to the beach or to a major city. I want my family to see that kind of lifestyle. Yes, I want to camp but I want one big trip a year and take my whole family. I don’t wan to have a vacation home or anything like that. I just want to be able to take a trip once a year.
I’m sure I could go into so much more detail. And ideally I do, in my mind. But what about you? What do you want? Do you know enough to just sit down and write it down? Do you need help? If so, get your best friend and a bottle of wine and figure it out. Be outlandish. Then bring it back down to closer to reality. I think you’ll be surprised.