Ashes to Ashes
Dust to Dust
Remember man, that you are born of dust and to dust you shall return.
I love Ash Wednesday. I hate Ash Wednesday. I love the Catholicism, the tradition, the opportunity for repentance. But I hate it too. On hat day, like no other, I revert back to my childhood. I revert to getting ashes in the morning at Mass and not being allowed to go wash them off my forehead. As a teenager I remember going with my mother out somewhere and she always had the worse smudge of ashes on her forehead. I don’t remember anyone saying anything to her about her forehead being dirty. I do remember being told that mine was. I do remember trying to wear bangs all day on Ash Wednesday. And I remember ashes ticking my nose where the ashes had fallen while they were being applied.
As an adult I’ve been wispy-washy with ashes. I know that Ash Wednesday is not a Holy Day of Obligation but I know that most Catholics treat it as if it was. It is the start of Lent, the holiest of holy times in the Catholic Church calendar. And that’s where I love Ash Wednesday.
Lent means a lot to me. It was during Lent that I began writing consistently. And it was during Lent that I began to share my writing. That was the scariest time of all. But it was time and it was something I desperately wanted and I felt called to write. Since then I have written about all types of things but keep coming back to my faith.
Lent is the best reminder there is about our faith. We see the life, the death, and the resurrection fo the Christ and it is here that we are allied closer to following him. This is the time when we “check in” on how we are doing in our faith.
During Lent the Catholic Church will have the Stations of the Cross. I love this tradition. But it is very hard for me to go through this week after week. Following the Passion of Christ will torment me. Why must he die? Why must we kill him? Why, even today, do we sin knowing good and well that our sins are forgiving before we even commit them? Why would we do it anyway? And, can we just have one year where we re-enact his death that he doesn’t have to die? Someone saves him at the last minute? Why do we always have to kill him? Let’s not get philosophical here. I know that he has to die the way that he does. I know. I would just like it if one year he didn’t have to. Would that change anything?
I’m sure it would. If he lived to be a very old man with people surrounding him I’m sure our believe system would be much different. But sometimes you just wonder how things could have been different over 2000 years ago.
Every year, everyone I know gives up something for Lent. The idea is to deprive ourselves and to sacrifice. I’m a firm believer in that. But I try to add something too. I think that’s how I started saying the Rosary every day. Jimmy gave up Sundrop one year and never went back to it. Popcorn and sweets too. I’m not very good at giving up things. I am much better at adding things and in almsgiving. I was going to give up computer games this year and spend more time writing and interacting. We’ll see how far I get. Probably just a day or two.
When I was younger I always wondered about the “ashes to ashes, dust to dust” comment concerning Ash Wednesday. That scared me. But the older I am I have come to realize that we come from the earth and will be returned to the earth. I think about those who have gone before us. There will come a time that I will rejoin them in the earth and hopefully in heaven as well.
I know this piece is all over the place and maybe a little sad and morbid. But realize that spring is coming and bringing the Resurrection and Easter with it. All things will be new again. Work these 40 days so that you are new again as well.