Awhile back I read an article about the things in Kentucky people have to explain to everybody else. So, I wrote one about the things in western Kentucky because that’s so much different than Kentucky. Well, then I decided we needed a list from Fancy Farm too. Honestly, this doesn’t even touch the tip of the iceberg. But it was fun writing it.
1. It’s not a farm, it’s the name of the town. There are farms there, lots of them. But none of those farms are named “Fancy”. The town’s name is Fancy Farm. You can check the map.
2. You don’t have to be Catholic to live there. It’s not a requirement. But it is a suggestion.
3. We are not all related. There are a lot of people related. But there are several Wilson families that are not related at all. Then again there are some Wilson’s that are related on both sides of the family.
4. It’s just a church picnic. Each year the town of Fancy Farm hosts the St. Jerome Church Picnic. Lots of people call it the Fancy Farm Picnic. But it’s just a church Picnic.
5. We talk that way. Get over it.
6. Our barns are not on fire. We are firing tobacco. That’s how it’s cured. Now if you see any flame with that smoke, that’s another story.
7. We are on a whole lot of people’s bucket list. They want to come once a year, listen to a whole lot of hot air from a whole lot of politicians, and eat a whole lot of BBQ. And talk with a whole lot of people they don’t know. I get that. That’s how I got here.
8. If you don’t like the weather, hang around for about 30 minutes, it’ll change.
9. If you run off the road don’t worry about calling a tow truck, there’ll be a tractor come by before long and pull you out.
10. Speaking of tractors, they can cause a traffic jam. Don’t pass them unless they wave you around. There might be a reason they are driving in the middle of the road. There is always a reason they are driving so slow. They want you to be safe, and they want to be safe. Above all, do not pass them on a double yellow line. You can wait!
11. Sometimes farmers drive their trucks real slow too. They’re checking out everybody else’s crops. Be patient with them, they’ll turn in before long. You’ll notice that they hang their elbow out of their window, that’s a requirement for driving a farm truck. Oh, and waving at everybody they pass. Sometimes that’s just pointing a finger at the oncoming truck. If they honk at you they’re only looking to get your attention so they can wave at you.
12. Speaking of driving, there are these almost new sidewalks that everyone uses to drive their golf carts around town. There’s not a golf course anywhere around, unless you count Billy Mills’ putting green in his side yard. The golf carts follow the rules of the road, except they’re on the sidewalk.
13. One thing about Fancy Farm, you have to be going there to get there.
14. We root for our teams: Fancy Farm Golden Gophers, Graves County Eagles, University of Kentucky Wildcats (although there are a few Louisville, Tennessee, and at least one Arkansas fan), and St. Louis Cardinals (except for those die-hard Chicago Cubs fans – you know who you are).
15. We fry food. Some food we even fry with lard. Yes, you can still buy that. Don’t fuss until you taste it. You’ll wonder why it’s so good.
16. More SunDrop is consumed in Fancy Farm than any other drink. Except maybe sweet tea. Oh, and milk. Except now we have Fancy Farm wine. We have a winery and a vineyard. And they’re open on Sunday.
17. We go to weddings. We go to funerals. It’s the right thing to do. There have been those who have come home with all of their guests just to have a wedding in Fancy Farm, even when it didn’t make sense. There are many people who moved off from here but come home to be buried, and their family comes with them. We pray with them, we cry with them and then we feed them. It’s the right thing to do.