The people of Fancy Farm have rules. They’re not written down, everybody knows what they are. And if you don’t know them, or you forget them, you will swiftly be reminded of them. Here they are. I’m sure it’s not a complete list but it’s a good start.
- You have to be a fan in Fancy Farm. You are a Golden Gopher fan. You are an Eagles fan. You are either a Cats or Cards fan. You are either a Cardinal or Cubs fan. Yeah, that’s about it. You are totally committed to your team.
- It is perfectly acceptable to drink Sundrop first thing in the morning. You don’t have to worry about drinking coffee, you can get your caffeine from Sundrop, first thing, and throughout the day.
- You will take care of your yards and farms. No one has to tell you. If somebody gets behind we will probably ride our mower over and take care of their yard too. We expect you to do the same. If somebody gets down we make sure to get their crops in or out. We could use your help.
- We’re pretty particular about our BBQ, fried catfish, and fried chicken. The best of these can’t be bought in a store or restaurant. You have to get invited to somebody’s backyard, tool shed, or kitchen table. Don’t worry, you’ll be invited.
- If someone asks who you’re related to then they’re not from here. If they’re from here they know who your parents and grandparents are. Rest assured, if you know someone with the same last name chances are really good that they are related. Lots of people with different last names are related too. It’s hard to keep up, unless of course you were raised here.
- Just because our pets are not cats or dogs doesn’t make them wrong. Sometimes we like our donkeys, pigs, rabbits and chickens as pets. Don’t judge.
- If you get invited for Sunday dinner or any other meal you don’t have to bring anything. There’s going to be plenty. But if somebody’s sick or has had a death you need to take food. Make it, don’t buy it.
- Rest assured, you will never make biscuits like grandma. Don’t try. Just accept defeat.
- Never buy anything new that you can get from a yard sale or trade day. Never buy anything that you can borrow. It’s okay if you don’t get it back. They’ll come get it when they need it the next time. But if you break it, you need to get it fixed. Just sayin’.
- We put out gardens in Fancy Farm. We will break and work the ground, seed the garden, weed it, hoe it, pick it and put it up. We will plant way more than we’ll ever need. So, if you get a goody bag of turnips or tomatoes, make sure to give thanks. That goes for honey and eggs too. But, it’s not that hard to put out a garden. You can do it. We’ll help. But we expect you to share the excess.
- Don’t mess with our generations. We value our parents, grandparents and great-grandparents. We will choose them over you any day of the week. We expect you to do the same with your relatives.
- We consider your kids our kids. That means that we will kiss and hug and love on them. We will brag on them. But, if they act up we will discipline them. Don’t take offense. We expect you to do the same with our kids.
- Nothing is ever planned for the first Saturday in August. That’s a pretty busy day. So all wedding invitations, vacations, work trips, etc., will have to be declined because you already have plans for that day. It’s been set in stone since 1886 and you’re expected. Why the world doesn’t revolve around the world famous St. Jerome Fancy Farm Picnic we’ll never know.
- We go to church. We go every Sunday, religiously. But we go at other times during the week. So, read the bulletin. It will give you a social schedule for the week.
You can post these on your refrigerator so that you don’t forget them.