I’m really mad at myself. I could have done something, but I didn’t.
I went to the grocery after work last night. I do that a lot. I could go to the grocery and spend a couple hundred dollars and then go the next night to get something for supper. I think in another life I must have lived in Europe where I went to the market every day. There’s something about picking out what you want for supper and heading home and cooking it up fresh.
Anyway, I have started shopping in a neighborhood grocery store. Since I started boycotting Walmart I go to this store quite a bit. It’s not on my way home but it’s a lot easier to just run in and get what I need after work. I like the store. It’s small, I’m finally figuring out where everything is, and they have a good deli. So, I went by last night on my way home. I tooled around the store, got what I needed, and proceeded to the checkout lane.
The cashiers are always so friendly and they always get someone to help me with my groceries. I usually tell them that I’m fine but I like that they offer. Last night there were just two lanes open. The one I got into was not moving so I made a decision to change lanes. I think it was probably God or the Holy Spirit who made me change lanes but I’ll get to that. The man in front of me had a full cart. They were almost finished checking him out though, so I considered myself lucky.
I put all of my groceries on the belt as he was beginning to pay. He had $72 worth of groceries and the computer denied his card. He immediately got on the phone and called someone. He told the cashier that there must have been a mistake because that card had $200 on it. I don’t know if it was a prepaid card or a debit card. The cashier re-ran the card, this time on “credit” and got the same response. He just looked at her, not knowing what he could do. The cashier gave him an out though. She asked if he wanted her to void the transaction and when he got the card figured out then they would just re-run the order. What else could he do? I stood there for the longest time and said to myself that I could do something. I could buy this guy’s groceries. I have money “stashed” away in my purse and I could pull that out and pay for that guy’s groceries. But I didn’t. And now I’m mad at myself.
I think I’m maddest because I’ve been in that guy’s shoes. I’ve been in a position that I didn’t have the money for groceries and scraped together enough money to buy a jar of pickles. And I remember after I bought those pickles, as I was getting the kids into the car to go to a cookout, I dropped the bag that had the pickles and the jar burst. I stood in the middle of the grocery store parking lot and boo-hoo’d over that jar of pickles. I couldn’t go in and buy another jar. I barely had the money for that jar. So all I could do was cry. That flashed back to me while I was watching that guy in the checkout lane. I could have paid for his groceries.
When I was heading out to my car with my groceries I saw the guy walking back towards the store. He had walked down the road a little. I don’t know where he was going or coming from. But when I got in my car I fished out my “stash” of money and decided I would hand it to him privately. I thought he could go back in there and no one would know that it wasn’t his money paying for those groceries. But as I got turned around he was gone. I went back into the grocery store and looked for him. His basket of groceries was still there. He was not. I went back out into the parking lot and watched for him. But he was gone. And so was my opportunity. I thought about going in and paying for his groceries but then I thought, what if he didn’t come back? So, I did the cowardly thing and went home.
As I was driving home I got to thinking about the times that I’m asked to donate to something. Usually I don’t give it a second thought. But on my way home I thought maybe I need to step up my opportunities to use my charity in better ways. I thought maybe I need to look for opportunities like this guy and do one of those random acts of kindness that people are always talking about. Maybe I don’t need to write a check, maybe I need to check on my neighbors and those in my community and help in that respect. Maybe that guy was my “aha” moment.
I will tell you this, though. If I ever feel compelled to help someone in a situation like that again, I’m going to do it. I won’t even consider the ramifications. I was so impressed with the way that store handled that situation and that guy. Everyone was so kind in the missed transaction. I wish I had been. Trust me, I won’t let that happen again.
