Okay, sounds good. So then I looked up nice
Alright. That’s what I need to know.
Because I’ll tell you, I have made a concerted effort for awhile now to be nice. I can name you way too many times that I have not been nice. I may be sharp with someone (usually my biggest sin), I may not be considerate of someone else’s feelings, and at times, I think I am just plain mean. I don’t want to be, it just comes out.
Sometimes I’m mean because I’m tired but most of the time I’m mean because I’m frustrated. There are times that I have a problem with people and I don’t try to be nice or kind. It might be somebody in line in front of me or it might be someone who has called me 15 times over the same situation. Maybe, before I say something mean under my breath, hey, before I even think it, maybe it would be good to think about what their face would look like if they heard what I said or what I was thinking.
There was a woman I used to work with who had been hired to answer the phone. She was about 15 years older than me but had never worked a day in her life. One day her husband came in and divorced her. It wasn’t that she didn’t have the experience that was needed, she didn’t have the aptitude for the job. But somebody felt sorry for her and she was very pleasant, she just didn’t have a clue. Everyone knew what I thought about her. Except her. But one day she transferred a call to me after about the 4th try and my customer was very upset. I calmed them down and gave them my direct line so that they never had to go through the main number again. I then called the office manager and told her that woman was an idiot, was costing us business, and I didn’t want her having anything to do with my customers. The office manager was very aloof and kept downplaying my concern and I wondered what was wrong with her because we had had this conversation before. And then I found out that the receptionist had been on the phone with the office manager. The phone had rung, she had picked it up and decided to listen in. Another pet peeve of mine but boy did it take me a long time to get my foot out of my mouth. I will never forget that as long as I live.
I thought it was a good thing. But it wasn’t. I had truly hurt this woman. So, I did things I had never done before. First, I sent her flowers. I apologized over and over. And then I made up my mind to help her. Somebody had to teach her what to do, and I took it on myself to be the one. She stayed in the job longer than I did. But I was glad that I was able to help her. But I don’t remember that, I remember being on the phone with the office manager.
Jimmy had a nephew who was the nicest person I had ever met. He found good in everything and everyone. I used to watch him in a crowd or at a family function and he would talk with everyone as though they were the most important person in his life. In fact, his brothers and sister are a lot like that too. But he was just so kind. Unfortunately, he died young. But I pray to him every day and ask him to help me be nice.
We all have encounters during the day that test our resolve. There are times that I can stay positive and really work towards being kind but most of the time my meanness comes through. Just recently I had to figure out why my son’s tuition wasn’t getting paid at the local community college. We had completed all the paperwork. I kept calling and calling and calling. Nothing was getting done. One day, after having been on the phone with someone for what seemed hours, and then her supervisor, I made up my mind to get in the car and head over to the college. It was later in the afternoon and every office was closed. I just stood at the information desk thinking that someone would magically appear. And someone did. This man came up and asked if he could help me. I told him that I needed to talk with someone. He said maybe there was still somebody hanging around. He didn’t have any more luck than I did but then a woman walked up. She had her coat on and all of her things. She sort of took over. I thanked the man. She told me she remembered me but wasn’t sure if she could help me. I unloaded on her. I wasn’t mean but you could tell how frustrated I was. There was another woman who overheard us on her way out and come to find out, she was the one I should have been talking with all along. She took the time to accomplish what I needed her to do, she took my contact information, called me the next morning and continued to email me until the problem was resolved. Every time I have had any contact with her from that initial time I have tried so hard to be nice, to be kind. And I hope that I come off that way. But I think she probably got the feeling that I was so unreasonable because I went over there that day. I hope not. I know that I will remember the frustration, but more importantly, I will remember her taking ownership of my issue and working it until it had been resolved. Maybe I should send her flowers.
I have been praying to be nice for years and years. It’s not that I think that I’m not nice and kind. I just know that it’s something I have to work on each and every day. I know we all do.
#bekind
I love you Cindy and I don’t think of you as unkind or mean. You and I are a lot alike in this area I am sorry to say. We just have a problem with incompetence. We think if we can figure out how to do a job everyone else should be able to figure it out just as fast as we do. Since I retired from SSA I think I have begun to handle this better, most of the time. Some people are much better at some things than other and just because I can handle paperwork quickly and efficiently does not mean everyone else can. Some need more training than others and learn at a much slower pace and will never be overly great at it. I have come to realize that it is my job to help that slower person to learn my tricks so they can become better at what they do. That is me attempting to become nicer and kinder. Now, do get started on patience. I am really lacking in that area girlfriend!!!