“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscalia
It doesn’t take much to make me feel good about myself. When I was younger I used to love it when my mother would tell me that she liked my new haircut or my make-up or an outfit I had on or whatever. I never realized how important this was to me until after she was gone and I wasn’t getting positive reinforcement anymore.
For a couple of years I struggled with depression and one point I realized a lack of attention was an issue. So I had to learn to give myself positive reinforcement. Now, I look for reinforcement everywhere. If someone likes my hair, I go with it. If someone likes some of my work, check. If my family likes what I cooked for dinner, I’m psyched. The trick is to look for the tiniest compliment (and don’t forget to give them to yourself) and use it to fuel your self-esteem. You don’t need too many of these to make yourself feel great!
I have never been good at receiving compliments. I’m good at giving them. But when someone gives me a compliment I just brush it off, “oh, this old thing?”
I have had to learn to stop and say “thank you”. Then I need to accept that compliment.
I was the middle child. I was convinced growing up that my dad loved my sister the most and that my mother loved my brother the most. I don’t think that was true, now. And I also think they spent a lot of time trying to make me feel special. I guess that was why I valued their opinions so much.
As a parent myself I know it was impossible for my parents to love me less than they loved my siblings. Besides, I was their favorite, right?